Grandpa Sam Car Crash

driving sitting
relaxing
sleeping
sometimes

Grampa Sam in front
driving smiling
relaxed in his Taurus
cruising

being free just
him and the road
four wheels
and his grandkids

me

Ch. 1

up to Cherry Hill
to spend the weekend

to hang out
to relax
to play with the computers
to go to Ponzios
the diner

and eat cinnamon rolls
and lox
and vegetable
barley stew

and Gramps
Grampa Sam
hitting on the waitresses
and giving them good tips

on life

filled with infinite wisdom
and a smile

always smiling

Ch. 2

And I’m off to College
Delaware

for four years
close but
still

there

to visit
on occasion

Grampa Sam

and him me

Ch. 3

and at the UofC
Chicago
freezing

far away
calling him
occasionally

how are you doing

still smiling
reminding me
not to let the bastards
grind me down

Ch. 4

Back finally
I’m sorry I was away so long
I wasn’t thinking about it
much

just doing what I was told
what I thought I was
supposed to do

Ch. 5

I know Grandma’s
there but I can’t
bear to see her
with her Alzheimer’s

and she’s gone
too

where was I then?

Ch. 6

That Jewish senior
citizen’s home

home for the elderly
with the terrible
lunches and dinners

but the staff
was friendly for the
most part

Grampa Sam
watching tv

trying to make the
best of an increasingly
bad situation

that is life
past 90

so close
so it seams

Ch. 7

Struggling fighting
to hold on to
pull it together

daughters coming
going

whatever

always smiling
with hat and cane
by his side

and I go and I stay
just for the night

and make sure he’s
OK that he can
get out of bed
and use the can

and everything
will be alright

Ch. 8

An hour away
should I go should I stay?
How many times?

Today?

Maybe tomorrow
maybe next week

visiting my grandfather
in Voorhees

Ch. 9

and then its getting
really serious

all of a sudden
the pain is getting
to be too much

in his shoulder
in his body

the cancer
eating away slowly

he needs medication
the wheelchairs
and canes and crutches
won’t do any longer
it’s not enough

he can’t come with
me to Ponzios
to the diner
not anymore

those days are gone

funny

it all happens
so quickly

Ch. 10

I go

I know

I send my Dad

he always liked him

I can’t go
I wait
to hear the reports

Ch. 11

and then I’m there
and I see him
and he can’t speak anymore
no words

there’s too much drugs
running through his blood

the pain is just too much
for him

and I sit there at his bed
and I hold his hand
and he holds mine
and we look at each other
in the eye

and we know

Ch. 12

and I go I get in my car
and I have that feeling
that would be the last
time I would see him

and its raining
and I’m going down
295

and there’s that curve
ahead

that I’ve gone around
so many times before

coming back from his
house in Cherry Hill
and now Voorhees

and I don’t think
about anything

I just go
and the rain
the rain

I’m thinking about him

Grampa Sam
in my mind

and I go
around the turn

and my wheels
take out from under
me

the car spinning
twirling whirling

hydroplaning
50 miles an hour

and then I

CRASH