Proud lion
strong with inner courage
majestic soft golden hair
soft paws and a playful smile
we’ve been through a lot

You were there
when a boy first embarked
on the path of celebrated adulthood
you saw it all transpire

The girl from next door
who would come over to watch movies
gladiators doing battle
beneath the sheets
where the kisses played
and new lands were discovered

And you were there
when the girl left
19 minutes too late

And you were there when she came back
and you received your friend
the red dog

those were good times
but it wouldn’t last
costa rican conspiracy transpiring
shaking the foundation
already weak but held up
by boisterous youth

did you know?
I’m glad you didn’t tell me
so I could live it for myself.

You were so strong
she was gone
but the red dog remained
with its surreal magenta hue
and cool smooth black eyes
and nose

Then the redhead
and the korean
those were tough times
and the Romanian
and the jew
two of them

Many frequenters
but it was meaningless

But then came the Germans
new life, happiness, beer
good times, good friends
good memories

Those were good times
you remember, you were there

And then I packed you up
and went to Mexico
and you were there when I came back
and we had that special visitor

Who came and played in the golden sand
of Southern Jersey
who shared our room
and our bed
and was still innocent

But she left too
and when she did
she wanted to take you
but I wouldn’t let her

Off to Chicago
a new home
I needed you through
those cold nights
on the third floor
of that soulless building.

More confusion
Allies and long walks
with cathedrals and Kims
playing the scholar
and beard.

But then she came
that sweet sweet girl
that woman the virgin Mary
and she brought spirit into my life
for those short 6 months

Together we made love
and intimate escape from our
purchased slavery of books
and forced ideology
and method

Movies and prepared meals
wine and coconut rum
and intimacy

She moved in and gave life
to that building
sitting there in the study room
with her medical books
preparing for the day
which couldn’t be put off forever

Back to Jersey
we took that trip across the country
staying in that motel
losing ourselves amongst the bridges

Finally making it
rescued princess
and prince
in the land of golden sand
where we could be free
and enjoy some of the
greatest moments of my life

I was too young
but that was probably a good thing
it wasn’t meant to be

Israel the land of my people
the dagger divides
off she goes
to Tennessee

And I return to Chicago again
for round two
and you come with me
of course

Back in this state
of freezing cold
and confused writing
papers of suppressed creation
and complicated footnoted explanations

Professorial perplexities
and apathy
over youthful energy
wasted on the head of a pin

You knew didn’t you?
But I didn’t listen
I didn’t want to see
how far I’d come from
my family my community
my true desires

I wanted to succeed
in the only way I knew how

Those were strange times
locked in icy freeze
struggling to bring the world
to its knees
in the form of jewish theology

You saw that friend come in
that fellow wanderer
that totally mind-fucked
kid grown up too soon
but lacking

And you saw the chinese girl
playing marilyn monroe
and asking for it
but I couldn’t give
because it was incompatible

And you saw the redhead
what was she doing there?
How strange this little mermaid
this girl completely out of her league
but there she was
for a short being

But the red dog had been deflated
still there but lacking life
out of touch
in Tennessee

And then she came
this one different
a force to be reckoned with
a snowstorm, a tornado
I couldn’t let her go

She came with a passion and a fury
and threw my world in disarray
with reckless abandon
and moral depravity

A tough pill to swallow
yet went down easy
for she had practice
and it was only me

A place to stay
a way
to circumnavigate through the city
to make up for nightly bus failures
and infrastructural stories

Infected my world
dirtying my air
those were tough times
you were there

When she threw you on the ground
when she injured your paw
you saw
how this maddened creature
kicked up dust storms

You didn’t say anything
and I’m grateful
for that lived experience
and lesson

In Jersey
back again
having explored the Mexican
coast and dame
with life experience
a thousand
miles apart from home
but for that brief moment
where I shared her home

Experiencing family in a way
foreign to me
that I will never forget
unless I do

It’s good to be back
where the lights of the city
of Atlantic shine
over the seashells
something seems right
maybe its Lucy

Reconnecting with that friend
who will go to see the world
in that Navy ship
with nuclear ambitions

Blurred visions
of failed attempts
and entrepreneurial swamps
online wastes of time
embedded in new knowledge

But where is Mary?
If only
but its not meant to be
instead this tornado
continues its grip
over my life blood

Cold winters made colder
by this ill-begotten shoulder
with terrible burden
as I spend the year
shuttling back and forth
between ACY
and OHaire

You weren’t with me
but the lady bug was
and the metro
and that movie theater
those apartments
and chinese restaurants

Where the open mic
tried to stand in
and say something funny
to take away from that

Where the insanity
reached its crescendo
and could only be split
by a canadian border
a toronto

I’ve learned my lesson
I think and now
basking in celibacy
and engaged in creative pursuit
of a career never imagined
happily letting the world
pass by

Happily letting the rest
of reality turn its wheels
while I spin mine
within the confines
of my cluttered room

Where you still are
always were
to witness this man
share his bed with no one
but yourself

To dream sweet dreams
of lost loves and new hopes
to cling to future’s embrace
and sever past’s ropes
and wait
for that moment
when it all
comes together.