The Rabbit’s Bride by the Brothers Grimm

There once was a woman

who had a lovely
where she used to grow all sorts of delicious

herbs parsnip elderberries
and cake

but unfortunately for her
there was a mischevious rabbit
who liked to
go around and take from her garden
what he could

and bring it home
for himself

to make supper out of and stew

One day, the woman saw the rabbit-thief
stealing away

her largest Carrots and most splendid

thump thump
be bump

skoot skoot

he went

over roots and shoots
swerving and slipping
and tumbling and flipping

all along

the woman not so fond
of this particular


She yelled at him, “Hey, Rabbit-man
stop all that mumbo-jumbo
I don’t care if you’re making a gumbo
or stew
or roast
those are my Carrots those are my Beats
those are my parsnips and Celery!”

but the Rabbit said,
O fair Woman won’t you come with me
to my little Rabbit Hole
and be my fair bride
and together
we will splendor in my Salads
and Soups

my Chef Cuisinary Concoctions
and brew

and the Woman said back to the rabbit
tap tapping

“No, Rabbit I will not have it I
will not have

rummaging through my garden
where I do
plant my hoe

leave what you’ve taken behind
and get your furry
tail out of this garden

of mine!”

and the next day it was but the same

the Rabbit stealing the nutmeg
and ginger
and turnips

and the Woman catching him red-handed
and demanding
he put back what he took
in that moment of passion

but the Rabbit was insistent
persistent deliberately goading her
trying to seduce her
badgering her
after a manner not normal of
his species

“Please, please woman it is not these
succulent Eggplants and Cucumbers
I truly desire but your
sweet honey pot

and truffles and Squash.”

but the Woman was firm
saying once again

“Go away from here!
You are not my friend
certainly no lover of mine who steals
my vegetation
out from under my eyes.”

and the next day it was the same
damn thing

this Rabbit didn’t get it
he wouldn’t stop
anything short of the police being called in

he tried again
to seduce her to come back with him
to his Rabbit chamber

but she said to him
in a forceful tone

“Rabbit, I have told you three times
now I am not interested
if you can’t appreciate that
and respect my boundaries
then frankly

I am just really



and the Rabbit sat there

munching on his carrot

perfect vision