The Hunch-Back of Notre-Dame

“Alright Quasimodo… let’s just uhh…
bring that sofa over here…”

“UUUUGGGGHHHHHH”

“What’s that? Ahh yes, good ole’
hunch-back grunting noise.
Very good. Keep up the good work!”

“UUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH”

“What’s that you say?
You want a hunch-break?
Hahaha! O man, I crack myself up.
No but seriously, what was that?”

“EEHHHMMMPHHHHEEEHHHHH”

“Ahh… yes, it is a fine day.
Very fine indeed!
OK Quasimodo, let’s keep up the good work
ehh? You know what they say,
when you’re back’s against the wall
give it all you got!
And when the going gets tough,
well… its time to get back to basics.
And ehh… y’know other puns
about backs, hmm yes.
So on and forth.
Very good!”

“MMMMAAAAUUUGGHHHHH”

“Come on Quasi-slo-poke…
let’s keep up the pace…”

“NNNMMMMAAHHHHH”

“OK, Quasi, I’m going to be out
for about a half an hour,
and umm… in the meantime
keep up the good-work
and uhh… don’t mind the other men.
They can get a little roudy at times.
OK see you later.”

“MMMEEEHHH”

“Heeeeeyyy…. look who it is,
the Hunch-back of Notre-Dumb-ass!
Hey! Dumbass, what’s with all
the grunting!
Preparing for your role
in broke-back mountain!
Ha-ha, yea we really nailed him.
Hey, Quasimodo! You can ring my bells!
What can’t you hear me?
What are you deaf?
Ahh… that’s right.
Making fun of people with disabilities,
good-ole fashion humor.
Yea, Quasimodo… hey I got a quasi-hard-on
in my pants!
What do you think about that, ehh?
That’s right baby, back that thing up.
Yeaaaaaa…. baby got back.
O yea, put your back into it
that’s right I’m fully abled
and you have an unfortunate disability
and I’m making fun of ya.
Oh yea… Alright.”

“UUUUEEEEGGGGGGGHHHHH”

“What’s that?”

“MMMMMUUUUEEEGGGHHHHHHHEH”

“Yea, that’s what I thought.
You do like it in the ass
don’tcha Quasi-homo.
Yea take that insult,
that’s right.
Whatcha gonna do about it, ehh?
Hey, what’s that you’re wearing?
Hugo-Boss, ehh?
You like that, you like how I switch
to a less mean-ful
and more literary-based pun, ehh?
You like that, yea.
Don’tcha?
Dontcha!
Yea… that’s right.
I’m gonna keep making fun of ya
because no one can stop me.
So umm… yea, fuck you!”

“Hey man, I may be grotesque-looking
on the outside, but I’m beautiful on the inside!”

“Yea…. sorry Quasimodo…
no one cares about that?”

“What? Really?”

“Oh yea… we just don’t care.
I mean its nice, y’know, you have character,
grace, umm… virtue…
but uhh… hey man, this is 15th century France
y’know its a very superficial culture.”

“Really? I did not know that…”

“Oh yea! Why do you think we’re making
fun of you so much?
It’s not because you aren’t a mench,
it’s just your horrible unfortunate
dis-figurement.”

“Ahh… I see.”

“Yea man, that’s all it is.
Don’t take it personally, OK?”

“No, no. Go right ahead.
Do what you got to do, I understand.”

“Alright, thanks Quasimodo.
So umm… yea…
You Suck!”