The Frog Prince by the Brothers Grimm

Once upon a time
like

a long time ago
like really

a long

long time ago

y’know

there lived a King
with a most gorgeous
beautiful and radiant
young daughter

a princess so
pleasant to look at
that even the Sun
admired
her

And the King and the Princess
lived in a castle
next to a dark green
wooded area

A Woods
with old linden trees

and scraggly branches
and odd-colored leaves

mostly green
but oddish
in color

And within that wooden
Woods

with the scraggly roots
branches and leaves

was a cool
very cool

well

and

well

the Princess just loved
to play near it

with this large
golden Ball

which she would toss in the
air

without a care in the world

happy in this little
corner of time

as the men of the city
roamed
about selling their merchandise

and so she played
and played
like little Princesses do

throwing the Ball up
into

the air

and catching it

and throwing it again

until one day
the ball did fall

down

down

the well

and

well

that wasn’t

very cool after all

And the King’s daughter
the Princess

began to weep and cry
for she lost her Golden Ball
down
that well

down
down

far below
the scraggly roots and branches and leaves

and in that moment
of dispair and wailing

wouldn’t you know it
a frog

came ribbiting towards
her silken clothing skirt

and said “What’s the matter
my dear girl?”

and the Princess
responded to the Frog this Toad

“My tale of woe
is that my wondrous Golden Ball has fallen
from my hands
down the cold dark damp well
and

well

I can’t see it anymore
I can’t get it

I will be sad

forevermore”

But the Frog said to the little girl
do not cry, for I will
go and find your ball

but if I do

“You”

must take

“Me”

this Frog to be your companion
your friend your plaything

you must let me go with you
to your castle
and sit at your table
and eat with you
and sleep in your bed

The little girl
responded

“OK!”

anything to have my great Golden ball back!
it’s a deal

please Mr. Frog
if you will

get me my global orbital corpuscule
plaything

and then you too
I will gladly allow
to play with me

and so the Frog went down into the well
and got the ball
and brought it back up
to the little Princess

who was so happy
she

took it and ran quickly to her castle
forgetting all about
the Frog

who stood there in that dark
scraggly forest
thinking

she will be mine
o yes
she will be mine

for I have gotten her her golden
ball and she has
made her promise to me

I will go to her
castle wall
and gate
and ask entrance if they will
Kermit me

so that I will be able to spend my days
basking in her company
lying in her bed
rather than this mossy soddy
existence

here in the woody wooden

Woods

and so the Frog did go to the Castle
and knocked on the door

and the Princess came out and saw
him there

and she gasped “Oh no, he has followed
me home!”

and she ran inside and slammed
the door

and her father the King
asked her

“My daughter, what is the matter?”

and she explained to him the situation
and he said

“Well, if you made a promise
then you must honor it
remember you are a Princess
here in the land of Wooden Forest.”

and so obligingly begrudgingly
misfudgingly so

she opened the door
and in stepped the saintly frog
of yore

and the King greeted him
with royal honors
regal hand-work extended towards

and told him to sit at the dinner
table
and engage in conversation
and the amusements
of recreation and folly
henceforth
coming

and the Frog was happy
but the Princess
was not

she pouted wondering
how this had become her Lot

But no use crying over
spilt salt

time to go to the bedroom
chamber

where the Frog would take
his place on the bed
alongside
the Princess’s golden blonde haired

head

but the Princess exclaimed
“No, you horrid frog!”
“You puppet!
I shall not allow you into my bed
for I am a vested
vestigal little girl a Princess!
whose bed is a sacred
soft pillowy existence
and I will not have it sullied by your
slimy discharge
and disgusting personal farce.”

but the Frog insisted
“But you said you would!”

“After all I found your Ball”

but the Princess
would have nothing of it,
despite what the King her father
might think

of it

she was sick of this whole
thing

and so

she grabbed the frog
in a fit of rage

and threw him with all her might
at the wall

and the frog hit it THUNK
and slid down to the ground

and all of a sudden
the Frog
did turn into a Prince

yes
a handsome charismatic
charming beautiful

handsome
good looking stereotypically
disney type figure

and he got up
off the ground

and looked at the girl

and she saw that he was
not what she thought

he wasn’t just a Frog
a toad but a Prince
clearly he had had a spell
put on him
by some evil witch

and her eyes began to open
wide to glaze over
like donuts

and her mouth salivated
and she thought
wow

a real Prince
in my own house!

Of course you can stay with me
here in my bed
and be my plaything
take me and let me see not
just Golden Balls
but all the colors of the rainbow!

But the Prince
felt the bump on his head

from being thrown against
the wall when he was
only just a few inches
tall

a toad

a Frog

and he said to the girl

Nothing

and left her Alone