Enlightenment Guy – P.3

“Hey, hey. Steve-ay…
what’s going on my man?”

“Oh, hey Jim.
Y’know, like the world.”

“Umm… are you depressed
about something?”

“Yea, its just the whole
meaninglessness of life thing.”

“Ahh, right.
Well, Steve, look I’m sure
reading Nietzsche for the first
time or whatever other existentialist
crap they give you in ehh…
your philosophy 101 class
is depressing,
but hey, its nice out, its sunny
there are beautiful girls walking
around, ehh?

I don’t know.
I don’t know anything anymore really…”

“Hey, Steve. Come on, man.
Who really knows anything, ehh?
You think I know something?
What do I know?
I know how to ehh… get high
and watch silly movies
on Netflix.
But look, it’s OK, OK.”

“I don’t know, man.

“There you go, Steve!
That’s the Spirit!”

“Oh, please. Don’t talk to me about
Spirit. My head is killing me,
I’ve been reading Hegel all day.”


“You know, Hegel.
The World is Spirit, dialectically
moving through the Universe,
which is also spirit.
Y’know an elaborate German
Metaphysics which is essentially
Christian Apologetics
in the thinly veiled guise
of an extra 400-some pages?”

“I’m sorry Steve, I actually don’t
know what you’re talking about.
I don’t know this guy Schmegel
or Bagel or whatever his name is.
Y’know what I was doing last night?
Getting laid.
And that’s what you should be doing too!
Come on man, put down that philosophy
crap and let’s go to the party tonight!”

“Ehh, Jim. You’re probably right,
but right now I don’t know what’s
right or wrong. My head is all messed up.
I mean everything is relative,
but if I go home and see my family,
then what makes them different
than everyone else?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if we are all relative
to each other, then what makes
my family my family?”

“You mean your relatives?”


“Well, Steve… umm, are you
asking me the difference
between biological familial relationships
and some confused mystical
conceptualization of inter-personal
connectivity in the world
as a whole?”

“Umm… yea, I guess so.”

“Well, look Steve. I really don’t
have time to hash this out,
but uhh… look, you’re fine,
the world is fine,
I mean, yea, OK… our economy
is failing, our society is crumbling,
America is falling like the Roman
Empire… but the World is fine, OK?
Look, meet me at the party,
we’ll have some drinks,
some laughs, all will be fine.”

“OK, Jim. I guess… if you say so.
I mean, I can’t know anything
for certain right, so how do I know
what will happen tonight?”

“That’s the Spirit!
OK, I really got to go.”

“I mean, maybe I’ll even fall
in love…”

“Yea, sure thing. Steve.
Anything’s possible.”

“But… what is love, really?”

“I don’t know, man.
I really got to get going

“Wait, Jim.
Do you think Love is the answer?”

“Yea, Steve.
Love’s the answer. OK?
I’ll see you tonight.”

“OK, thanks Jim.
Yes, I will hold onto that
all-consuming yet
inherently vague principle
to get me through
this otherwise
seemingly meaningless
existence, and I will meet
you at the party
and we will laugh
and we will be in good-cheer
and forget
about the problems of
the world
of man
of beast
and of mind.”